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THE LEGEND OF TARZAN (2016)

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tarzan3Watching The Legend of Tarzan, I began to wonder if there are any snakes or scorpions in the Congo that possess sleep-inducing venom.

Director David (Harry Potter) Yates’ ode to Alexander Skarsgard’s neck muscles nearly put me in a trance, and no, not because of the actor’s ripped bod.

Our hero, John Clayton, aka Tarzan (Skarsgard), is the British aristocrat raised by the apes in the African jungle. It’s 1884, and John and his alarmingly empowered wife Jane (Margot Robbie), have lived in grey, rainy England for the past decade.

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Enter George Washington Williams (Samuel L. Jackson), based on a real-life activist, pastor, writer, and American Civil War veteran. The movie takes this little-known but towering figure and teams him up with Tarzan to investigate the Belgian King Leopold’s Congo Free State, which he runs as his personal fief.

An agent for the King, Leon Rom, schemes to turn Tarzan over to a local chief (Djimon Hounsou) in exchange for diamonds that will solve Leopold’s debt problems. Rom (Christoph Waltz) kidnaps Jane, and Tarzan and George give chase.

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Yates and writers Adam Cozad (the 2014 Jack Ryan reboot) and Craig Brewer have had the admittedly tricky task of tackling the imperialist baggage of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ tale and producing a blockbuster for a global audience.

But as soon as the opening sequence’s mists clear, what emerges is a pretty unremarkable reboot with some sub-par CGI – there is nothing in this jungle that likes to bite.

Even the actors can’t liven it up much; Samuel L. Jackson’s wisecracks bounce straight off Skarsgard’s abs, while Margot Robbie seems bored, and almost banking on Suicide Squad to launch her to stardom.

The Verdict

Indiana Jones might have read Tarzan in his youth, but this is Indiana Jones minus the gusto and the comic touches.

 

The Legend of Tarzan’ stars: Alexander Skarsgard, Samuel L Jackson, Christophe Waltz, Margot Robbie

2.5/5

I live by the sea near my original hometown Portsmouth – the UK’s only island city! (That makes it sound way better than it really is.) When I say I’m ‘near Portsmouth’, I’m actually over the water on the Isle of Wight. My parents moved here when I was three. They took me with them. I loved books and wanted to be a writer or an actress. When I was ten my dad told my mother to stop buying me books because he didn’t want me to get “big-headed”. I left school at 13 (I have something in common with Jennifer Lawrence!) and then shortly after I went back to The Mainland. Amazingly, I went to university, where I acted in plays. I wanted to be an actress but stage fright nixed that. I’m currently stranded back on the Isle of Wight. After university, I went to live with my dad again. I was his caretaker through his depression, cancer and pulmonary fibrosis. He died October 2018. Slow to the Party was born the following year. I’d blogged on and off for a bit, but it helped me after his death to dedicate myself to it, while I rebuild (hopefully) my new life. I’m always a little slow to the party. Stuff just gets in the way.

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Monster Hunter | Exclusive Official Trailer

A portal transports Lt. Artemis and an elite unit of soldiers to a strange world where powerful monsters rule with deadly ferocity. Faced with relentless danger, the team encounters a mysterious hunter who may be their only hope to find a way home.

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Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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When Lt. Artemis and her loyal soldiers are transported to a new world, they engage in a desperate battle for survival against enormous enemies with incredible powers. Feature film based on the video game by Capcom.

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Action, Comedy, Thriller

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November 17, 2020

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Santa Claus must contend with a hitman sent from a disappointed child.

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Free Guy is an action-comedy about a bank teller who discovers he is a background character in an open world video game called Free City that will soon go offline.

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Release Date:

July 3, 2020

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Ryan Reynolds, Joe Keery, Jodie Comer, Taika Waititi, Channing Tatum, Lil Rel Howery

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Free Guy is an action-comedy about a bank teller who discovers he is a background character in an open world video game called Free City that will soon go offline.

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