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HORROR

Little Monsters: “It Was Like A School Project In Which The Creatures Were Played By Fellow Students”

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Can we play the shooty game,Uncle David?
I don’t want us to get in trouble, Felix.
We’ll have to play it with the sound off.

 

Well, there’s always the award “Disappointment of the year”. I’m afraid this year the film “Little Monsters” will take the credits for this. I had regained confidence in the combination of horror and comedy after watching “Monster Party” and “The dead don’t die“. I’ve always had a problem with it when moviemakers mix these two genres. But these last two films managed to rekindle my enthusiasm. Well, “Little Monsters” has nipped that enthusiasm in the bud. There were some highlights in this zombie movie. But overall, I was plagued by a yawning attack and I was constantly annoyed about certain situations.

 

Little Monsters

 

Not my kind of humor.

I do understand that all kinds of new perspectives have to be devised nowadays to make the zombie genre even more interesting. In “The dead don’t die” they largely succeeded in that. But that’s personal taste. Coincidentally this film used the type of humor that I like the most. In “Little Monsters” the humor was generally absent. The absurdist tone of “The dead don’t die” was traded for flat and childish humor. Believe me, the amount of irritation exceeded the allowable level several times. After 2 minutes I was already annoyed by the opening scene where Dave (Alexander England) and his girlfriend constantly yelled at each other. Just like their friends, I felt ashamed on their behalf. And that wasn’t the only time while watching this film.

 

Little Monsters

 

Lupita dazzles.

First, let me list the most positive aspects. Without a doubt, there’s first and foremost the presence of Lupita Nyong’o. This Oscar winner moved me in “12 Years a slave“. And played a hair-raising role in the movie “Us“. In this movie, she’s such a ray of sunlight with that dazzling yellow dress. Probably strategically chosen so it contrasts sharply with the splattered blood. And with her ukulele and catchy version of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off“, it seemed like I was looking at a modern Maria from “The Sound of Music“. Certainly when the entire classroom joins her with the song like a real Von Trapp family. But apart from the fact that she’s very musical and fashion-conscious in this film, you also have to admit that Lupita is simply a beautiful woman. Even if she opens her mouth in a panic and produces an uncontrolled scream with her eyes wide open, she’s still adorable. And she’s actually the funniest one in the film.

 

Little Monsters

 

Dave. An annoying big kid.

To a lesser extent, I also thought Alexander England was pretty good. This irresponsible, sometimes imbecile klutz, is quite annoying at times. But nonetheless, due to his clumsy attitude and behavior (mainly in terms of social skills), he still manages to arouse some sympathy. I found his encounter with Miss Caroline quite endearing. That suddenly emerging urge to seduce this teacher. But then, in the next scene, you see him giving a demonstration of solo sex on the toilet while drooling over a class photo (with school teacher Carolina in it of course) of his nephew Felix (Diesel La Torraca). Would I be a teenager, I would chuckle about this. Now a raised eyebrow was the only result.

 

Little Monsters

 

It’s a zom-com.

This would-be-creepy zom-com also had its charms. The clumsy way in which Dave tries to impress Miss Caroline is quite funny to see. And of course, eventually, she gives in, even though she hates Dave from the start because of his brutal and stupid remarks. And finally, there are a few very funny moments such as the Darth Vader scene and the horde of singing zombies. I got the most spontaneous smile on my face when I saw a bewildered zombie attempting to clap to the rhythm and he found out that both his arms were missing. And here and there there was a pretty good joke or one-liner.

 

Little Monsters

 

A lot of irritating stuff.

But still. Unfortunately, the number of irritating things was overwhelming. I was relieved when this zom-com ended. First of all, I thought the zombies were extremely ridiculous. It was like a school project in which the creatures were played by fellow students. A Wednesday afternoon activity that involves a lot of fun. You can’t call it a horror, in my opinion, because of the lack of tension. The most bloody scenes always take place off-screen. This is probably due to the budget. Perhaps the much-used photo with Lupita covered in blood and those anxious-looking children in the background, raised wrong expectations for me. And as I mentioned before, the humor was missing. But mainly I was annoyed by the figure of Teddy McGiggle (Josh Gad). Such an annoying character. If I could, I would have personally fed him to those bloodthirsty undead. I know it’s an Australian indie. But to be honest, it looked really cheap (literally as figuratively). The only question I had was: “What’s a famous, talented Hollywood star like Lupita doing in this movie?“.

 

My rating 4/10
Links: IMDB

HORROR

Sweetheart: The Panic And Subsequent Calmness Seem Realistic Enough

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Sweetheart(thunder rumbling)
(wind whooshing)
(hammock creaking)
(thunder cracks)
(creature huffing)
(creature snorting)
(creature chittering)
(cries out)
(creature growls)
(screaming)
(creature growling)
(thunder cracks)
(panting)
(roars)
(screams)
(grunts)
(creature hissing)
(growls)
(thunder cracks)
(creature roars)
(thunder rumbling)

 

Let me first make a comment before I start spitting my opinion about “Sweetheart“. How the hell did this kid succeed in reaching the beach of this exotic island? I’m sure that after a few minutes of floating around in the ocean, she’d go down like a stone. That’s not entirely true, of course. Because, when I remember correctly, she was wearing a life jacket (with a backpack over it). I just wanted to point out that she had the most disastrous-looking swimming technique I’ve ever seen in my life. And the fact that not all tropical islands were used in commercials about “Bounty”, but are also the territory of evil, dark creatures from the ocean. And since shipwrecks don’t wash up on this island regularly, the creature was presumably on a fish diet before it could drag some human meat to his hole in the ocean once again. But this aside. “Sweetheart” is a fairly simple story about surviving.

 

Sweetheart

 

Not an amorous fish friend.

Take the well-known story of “Robinson Crusoe” and mix it with the story from “Cold Skin” and you’ll get “Sweetheart” as a result. The difference with the Crusoe story is the key player. Here it’s someone of the female gender who’s being washed ashore on a beach. And also, she isn’t joined by a friendly native (such as Friday) but a scaly and life-threatening sea monster. And no, this ocean dweller doesn’t have the same amorous intentions as our gilled friend from “The shape of water“. In that case, the film would have gotten a more frivolous character and our survivor’s stay would have been much more enjoyable.

 

Sweetheart

 

What to do when you arrive on an island.

Unfortunately, this film doesn’t have much to offer. Actually, as much as Jenn (Kiersey Clemons) was wearing when she woke up there in the saltwater, feeling beach sand scraping between her toes. Nothing much. Only short jeans and a t-shirt. Fortunately, her knowledge of survival techniques was abundantly present. Without hesitation, this young lady runs through the checklist of the “Tasks to be performed when you wash up on an uninhabited island” list and starts installing herself on the island as well and as badly as possible. The first part is, therefore, a concatenation of moments where you can see Jenn handling these tasks. Estimating the perimeter of the island, developing hunting techniques, ensure a decent place to spend the night and thoroughly explore the island itself. Only the nocturnal threat was not on the list. Something for which she has to use her own personal inventiveness.

 

Sweetheart

 

There’s not much talking here.

Most of the film consists of Clemons doing a solo performance. The success or failure of such kinds of films (as in “Mine” for example) is therefore entirely in the hands of that specific person. Should her acting be bad or unbelievable, the film will suffer a figurative shipwreck (how appropriate). Fortunately, that’s not the case here. She acts solidly and is convincing enough. The panic and subsequent calmness seem realistic enough. Eloquence isn’t necessary here either. Most of the time the film is dialogue-free. Well, it’s hard to have in-depth conversations when you’re on an island on your own. And when an inflatable rescue boat appears on the horizon, with Jenn’s friends on board, it briefly creates some tension. Not for you as a viewer but for the participating actors themselves.

 

Sweetheart

 

Not an exciting movie for me.

What remains is the aquatic creature. Yes, could this monster ensure some tense moments? Unfortunately, the creature is allergic to sunlight. In short, it’s only in pitch darkness (and an uninhabited island without artificial lighting is simply pitch dark) that you can see this rogue (partially). There are nevertheless some successful scenes in the film in which it shows how supreme it is in water. But except for a little growling and hissing, the monster is a bit disappointing. All in all, I didn’t think it was an exciting movie. Since it’s an exotic island, the film is peppered with breathtaking images of beaches and azure blue water. And isn’t that something an average earner can only dream of?

 

My rating 5/10
Links: IMDB

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HORROR

The Invisible Man – 2020 | Full Trailer – HD

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Genre:

Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Release Date:

February 28, 2020

Director:

Leigh Whannell

Cast:

Elizabeth Moss, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Aldis Hodge, Benedict Harde, Storm Reid

Plot Summary:

A woman receives the news of her abusive ex-boyfriend’s suicide. She begins to rebuild her life for the better. However, her sense of reality is put into question when she begins to suspect her deceased lover is not actually dead.

 

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HORROR

The Curse of La Llorona: An Interesting Film For Newbies To Start With The Horror Genre

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LooYou used him as bait?
No. I used you all as bait.

 

When I visited Eurodisney near Paris for the first time years ago (it seems like centuries ago), I was so overwhelmed and enchanted by the atmosphere and everything there was to admire. I literally hovered through this park for three days and had the time of my life. At the beginning of this year, I visited the park again (this time with my two young kids) and it was 3 days of fun again. However, it was far from the same as that first time. If you have been somewhere six times you know what to expect and you are no longer so impressed by it. The same applies to this film “The curse of La Llorona“. A horror movie that is part of the “The Conjuring” universe.

 

The Curse of La Llorona

 

You should be scared.

The entity La Llorona in itself is fairly well developed. But you could also say that about the evil nun that scared you in “The Nun“. I saw the latter at the beginning of this year and to be honest I found it rather disappointing. After two “The Conjuring” films, a number of “Annabelle” films and “The Nun” it starts to look like mass production. Now, it’s a golden rule that globally well-known brands always do the same thing. And that’s not to deviate from its formula for success. It ensures that people aren’t disappointed because they know the product very well. But with a product such as horror films, this can also lead to a worn-out formula. A worn off formula in such a way that it becomes boring and far from scary. And that’s exactly what you need in a horror. Creepy moments so that fear grabs you by the throat.

 

The Curse of La Llorona

 

Behave or La Llorona comes to get you.

Not that I’ve ever experienced a feeling of fear while watching a horror. But this looked weak. I was looking at it as if I was watching the umpteenth repeat of “America got Talent”. Uninterested and numb. The La Llorona phenomenon isn’t really remarkable. After a while, you come to know that it’s about a woman who drowned her children in a moment of madness and afterward killed herself. The legend grew into a sort of parenting trick that was used to teach children some discipline. I can already imagine how old grandmothers admonish their grandchildren with a standard sentence such as “If you don’t behave, La Llorona comes to get you.” Terrifying for the children. Not so impressive for an adult.

 

The Curse of La Llorona

 

Lots of jumpscares.

The Curse of La Llorona” is full of jumpscares. That in itself isn’t a problem. At least when they are presented decently and preferably also in an original way. The jumpscares here, however, are so clichéd that you already know in advance where they will be used. The most intense and successful scene is the bathtub scene. Claustrophobic and effectively put together. It reminded me of “The Drownsman” (even though you can’t call that movie excellent). And maybe the involvement of Rafael Olvera (Raymond Cruz) can be called original. He’s not an average exorcist like the Warren couple in “The Conjuring“. I tend to think of him as more of a medicine man who performs voodoo-like rituals and lavishly sprinkles tree seeds and puts down a whole bunch of candles, just to stop La Llorona. To be honest I thought it was pretty funny. The moment when Olvera picks up his samba balls. And certainly his bone-dry reply in the end.

 

The Curse of La Llorona

 

Not a successful horror.

No, you can’t call this film successful. “The Nun” wasn’t that great, but I still place it above this film if I had to arrange them in a list. Perhaps it’s an interesting film for newbies to start with the horror genre. As a warm-up to discover the better stuff, as it were. For the seasoned horror film fan, it’s more likely to be a disappointment. So, I kinda have my doubts about the upcoming episodes from the “The Conjuring” Universum.

 

My rating 4/10
Links: IMDB

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